Quien Es Mas Macho?*
The University of Miami audience, attending the latest in a series of countless presidential debates for Poli-Sci 101 credit, was treated to an impromptu duet by Senator Cristo Dodd (rhymes with "God") (D-CT) and Governor Bill Blaine Richardson III (D-NM) singing La Bamba in nearly flawless Spanish, while fellow candidates, Dennis Kuspinich (D-OH!) looked on helplessly, and Senator Hilly/Billy (D-AR/NY/DC/Wherever) attempted to keep time by tapping her foot and pretending to know the words, until candidate Obamalamadama (D-Chicago) quietly leaned over telling her to give it up. And, oh, she gave him such a look every male in the audience recoiled and apologized to the nearest female.
With the musical portion of the pageant complete, and Cristo Dodd clearly ahead, the competition moved on to the "Foreign Political Figures" category. Inside reports tell us that President George Jr., was watching the pageant in the White House rec room and reportedly told Uncle Dick Cheney, "Oh, I'm good at these."
Moderator, Jimmy Smitts, then asked the candidates, "For 5 electoral points from the Dade County bloc, explain why Hugo Chavez is el Diablo..."
"Chavez!" George Jr. shouted at the wide screen TV, "I met him, didn't I...at OPEC? Don't tell me...Chavez...isn't he the farmer union guy? Hey, you smell sulfur?" Uncle Dick smiled and passed the president another Oreo.
Meanwhile in Miami, Senator Dodd was first on the button: "We shouldn’t be losing a public relations battle to Hugo Chavez!" **
"Correct!" Smitts replied and complimented the Senator from the unspellable New England state, home to the largest Native American casino reservation in the world. "And your pronunciation of the dictator's name, as well as your hair," Smitts continued...."Perfecto!"
The Miami crowd went nuts, and had the election been held that night, Florida would've have fallen into the Dodd camp. But as Hilly/Billy and Obamalamadama were discussing off-camera, the election wasn't held that night.
***
Dateline: Miami, FL, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, The Blog Party News, all rights shift left.
* "Quien Es Mas Macho," is copyright material of SNL, 1978, gleaned under Fair Use.
**Actual quote taken out of context for parody porpoises only, although in Spanish it sounds really cool.
PSA: To Save The Parody Porpoises, contact your representative.
The University of Miami audience, attending the latest in a series of countless presidential debates for Poli-Sci 101 credit, was treated to an impromptu duet by Senator Cristo Dodd (rhymes with "God") (D-CT) and Governor Bill Blaine Richardson III (D-NM) singing La Bamba in nearly flawless Spanish, while fellow candidates, Dennis Kuspinich (D-OH!) looked on helplessly, and Senator Hilly/Billy (D-AR/NY/DC/Wherever) attempted to keep time by tapping her foot and pretending to know the words, until candidate Obamalamadama (D-Chicago) quietly leaned over telling her to give it up. And, oh, she gave him such a look every male in the audience recoiled and apologized to the nearest female.
With the musical portion of the pageant complete, and Cristo Dodd clearly ahead, the competition moved on to the "Foreign Political Figures" category. Inside reports tell us that President George Jr., was watching the pageant in the White House rec room and reportedly told Uncle Dick Cheney, "Oh, I'm good at these."
Moderator, Jimmy Smitts, then asked the candidates, "For 5 electoral points from the Dade County bloc, explain why Hugo Chavez is el Diablo..."
"Chavez!" George Jr. shouted at the wide screen TV, "I met him, didn't I...at OPEC? Don't tell me...Chavez...isn't he the farmer union guy? Hey, you smell sulfur?" Uncle Dick smiled and passed the president another Oreo.
Meanwhile in Miami, Senator Dodd was first on the button: "We shouldn’t be losing a public relations battle to Hugo Chavez!" **
"Correct!" Smitts replied and complimented the Senator from the unspellable New England state, home to the largest Native American casino reservation in the world. "And your pronunciation of the dictator's name, as well as your hair," Smitts continued...."Perfecto!"
The Miami crowd went nuts, and had the election been held that night, Florida would've have fallen into the Dodd camp. But as Hilly/Billy and Obamalamadama were discussing off-camera, the election wasn't held that night.
***
Dateline: Miami, FL, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, The Blog Party News, all rights shift left.
* "Quien Es Mas Macho," is copyright material of SNL, 1978, gleaned under Fair Use.
**Actual quote taken out of context for parody porpoises only, although in Spanish it sounds really cool.
PSA: To Save The Parody Porpoises, contact your representative.
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