Rudy Defeats Huckabee

Florida Race Fields The Winnows.

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Floridians forced an insight into Rudy The G-Man Giuliani's constantly-evolving campaign strategy by handing him a resounding victory over fellow GOP front-runner, the non-evolving Reverend/Governor Mike Huckleberry, in a race that has been likened--by those of us who didn't witness it--to Dewey v. Truman or Rocky v. Apollo Creed. Bloodied, but unevolved, Huckleberry, with his wife, Adrian, at his side, conceded to the former NYC mayor-turned-superhero by saying that he didn't want a rematch. Rudy graciously accepted Huckleberry's surrender and, then, stunned the Sunshine State voters, who'd braved 80-degree temperatures, by announcing that he'd quit the race and return to fighting international terrorism. In a flash, Rudy swirled his cape across his shoulders and leaped onto the lecture circuit at $100,000 a show. But before leaving the Floridians below to shuffle off to early-bird specials where they'd complain about the air-conditioning, he pulled yet another stunner and charged his supporters to rally behind anyone but Romney. And with that, Rudy was gone from the '08 race.

While Republicans hogged most of the headlines yesterday, Democratic candidate, The Clintons, LLC (TM), racked up another upset victory over front-runner, Barrage Obama, by continuing their strategy to campaign only in states that don't count. Hillary wasn't available for comment as she campaigned for her husband along the side roads of American Samoa. Bill, aware that his VP was out of sight, stumped in a Fort Lauderdale hot tub with Michigan State coeds auditioning for the new political reality Fox/TV series, Spring Break With The Candidates!.

.......*****

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dateline: Boca Subprimo, Fl., Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©, all rights half-price before 6 PM.

Kennedys Don't Go For Clintons

GOP in Panic

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Conservative radio talk show host, Surge Windbag, abandoned his usual schoolyard bully tone as he shocked his 13.5 million listeners by pleading on air for The Kennedys--Senator Ted and JFK's daughter, Caroline--to reconsider their separate endorsements of Barrage Obama. "You must support Hillary!" Surge begged. "My whole career rests on her...(sniffle)...she's always been there for me...(whimper)...without Hillary," Windbag confessed, "I got nothing...(radio tears)...nothing....we'll be back after this..."

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When asked to comment on the Kennedy defection, The Clintons (TM) responded by saying, "I don't need 'em, I still plan on getting elected...oh, heh, just don't tell the wife, though." Hillary, who was campaigning in American Samoa, could not be reached for comment.

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.......*****

dateline: New York, New York, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©, all rights rerecorded.

The Clintons Whupped Good in SC

NASCAR State All Agog For...No, Not Her

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In a concession speech that can only be described as uninspiring--due, in part, to the ongoing Speechwriters Strike, now in its eight year--suddenly-second-tier presidential hopeful Bill Clintonredux, congratulated his opponent, Barrage Obamalamadama, and refocused The Clintons' (TM) campaign sights on what can be salvaged in the remaining primary days: “We now turn our attention to the millions of Americans who will make their voices heard in...American Samoa....”* And then, to make sure he was taken seriously, he added the obligatory, "As we go forward...you, know, for change!" Seeing no reaction from the dozens of supporters, and this reporter, inside the Fort Sumter Hotel ballroom, Bill then kicked over the microphone stand and stomped offstage while a lone Celine Dion sang, "The Sun Comes Out Tomorrow" in Canadian.

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Bill's running mate, what's her name, wasn't immediately available for comment in the Columbia, SC strip club, The Hanging Chad, where BPNN had set up an all-night poll watch. But, it's rumored that the former head of the once front-running Democratic ticket was headed to Samoa, located somewhere near Hawaii, in hopes of repeating The Clintons (TM) breathtaking Michigan victory by running unopposed.

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*Real quote. There's more to it, but we gleaned the important parts. For the complete concession text go to NYTimes.com

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dateline: Columbia, SC, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©, all rights remanded.

Shocking Shakeup in Primary Shag

Kuspinach to Run?.

According to Jérôme Kerviel, person-of-spokes for Dennis Kuspinach (D-OH!), the Congressman may announce his candidacy for President of the United States, "If," Kerviel emphasized, "we can, how you say...gin up ze dough necessary for such a lengthy campaign, say, six, maybe, ten billion Euros...er, bucks." Presidential futures markets in Asia were closed for a run-on-bank holiday when the Kerviel announcement was leaked, but this can only bode ill since campaign markets are still reeling from the announcement earlier this week that Freddie "Boom-Boom-Law-And/Or Order" Thompson (R-NBC) had abandoned his quest for the lead in White House!, the much anticipated reality show replacement for Friday Night Lights, a victim of the ongoing Speechwriters Strike. John Travolta had been rumored to host White House! until photos of the NJ movie star in a woman's fat suit appeared on YouTubeTop dashing that hope; although, Trovolta is still considered a strong contender for the #2 slot on the Kuspinach ticket, especially since, as the actor notes, he comes with his own Air Force Two jet. *

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In other campaign whispers, the Clintons' (TM) campaign let it leak that a running mate has been chosen, but, as of press time Hillary would neither confirm nor deny that she will accept the VP assignment Bill offered her.

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......*****

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*Boeing 707

dateline: The Paris Hilton Hotel, Beowulf, Quebec, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©, all rights left out.

Huckabee Update: Pol's Pole Poll

These Colors Don't Run (For President)

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The Reverend/Governor of Arkansas--one of the many former Arkansas governors running for president--Mike Huckleberry, abandoned his usual aw-shucks approach to weighty issues, such as should Tony Dow be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and squarely faced the Confederate Flag Burning Amendment issue by stating: "We tell them, you're going to tell us what to do with our flag? We'll tell you what to do with the pole."*

"Them" was not available for comment, having been stunned by the Reverend/Governor's white lightning wit. But, as folks here 'bouts in Arkansas know, when them says nuthin', them's sho-nuf plannin' somethin'.

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Meanwhile half of the other former Arkansas governor team running for president responded by saying, "I suggested that Hillary add a pole to her campaign stage performances."

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A recent PBS/Fox/BPNN poll suggests that the pole issue plays well in Arkansas and South Carolina where candidate Johnny "Also-Ran" Edwards is expected to release a pole plan of his own, one that recognizes the pole as an integral part of the US economy "going forward."

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* True quote

dateline: Polecat Trailer Haven, Arkansas, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©, all rights reheated.

Huckabee: From God's Lips To Your Ballot

We Can't Make This Stuff Up

When Divine Inspiration strikes, we in the media--as our conservative radio talk show colleague Surge Windbag notes--"must give pause." And after that pause, when our senses return, we usually comment on whatever the current egregious proclamation from the dwindling field of presidential candidates might be. We call our commentaries "editorials," a Latin term meaning, "slow news day." And on the day of the South Carolina Primary and Las Vegas Caucus we offer this unedited comment from former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckleberry (R-ARmageddon):

"I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God. And that's what we need to do is amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than trying to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family." *

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As promised, we won't comment, nor could we get a comment from God (TM), who was reportedly busy rewriting the United States Constitution. It should be noted, however, that God (TM) is not registered to vote in either South Carolina or Las Vegas, Nevada; only in Iowa, where he's already cast his ballot for the Southern Baptist televangelist turned Republican front-runner.

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***

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* True quote. Be afraid, be very, very afraid....almost makes Romney seem rational.

"God" is the registered trademark of the Republican Party which is solely responsible for your salvation.

Those passages not copyrighted by God, LLC (TM) or his agents, is the property of the Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©.

Massachusetts Governor Wins Native State

GOP Faces New Challenge

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In the wake of former Massachusetts Governor Romney's stunning victory in Michigan--his home state that he left 40 years ago to serve as a front-line missionary in France during the Vietnam War--Mitt "The Kid" faces unforeseen Comeback Kid challenges. "We're running out of candidates," Republican National Lapel Pin chair, Darby Wawson, noted aboard the Romney Limited campaign jet as it lifted off from George Romney International Airport in Lansing, Michigan just minutes after the ballots we're counted and destroyed. "So far," Wawson said off -the-record, "We've allowed each candidate to win a state; we call it our 4-H policy--every candidate a winner." Dawson then shrugged and giving a George W grin, he continued, "Who could've foreseen that we'd still be in this race after New Hampshire? I mean, we thought Obamalamadama was a lock, and we was lookin' toward 2012 when we get another shot at Hillary. But, now? Sh&#, we're screwed." Shifting uncomfortably in the club seat while pouring another two fingers of Johnny Walker Blue label and looking over his shoulder to make certain the candidate hadn't seen, Wawson confided with us: "It's a mess, this whole GOP primary is a mess." He ticked off the reasons on his fingers, wet with whiskey: "Rudy has dibs on Florida, Freddie Boom-Boom-Law-and-or-Order Thompson has an option on South Carolina, and just 'tween you and I..."

"You and me," our correspondent corrected.

"...I think Freddie's gonna exercise his Carolina option. I haven't seen the script yet, what with that writers strike and all...So, where's that leave us? Every candidate's got hisself a primary win, and still this thing won't end! We just need more Republican candidates."

"What about McCain?"

"Who?

"Mc...."

"Oh, yeah, he who's name must never be spoke," Wawson dismissed the second-place Michigan winner. "He's not really one of us." Wawson's wink combined with the secret sign of touching his nose and flag lapel pin, indicated how uncommitted the GOP really was to its one veteran candidate.

Still, Wawson admitted in further confidential conversations before the Johnny Walker ran dry, "Romney's finally got a couple of good one liners, stuff voters can hold onto."

"Such as...?"

"The Fence...."

"Border fence?"

"Yeah, shhh...." Wawson waved his glass, "This is where he trumps even Rudy. While everyone else is focusing on the Mexican fence...."

"I think it's the US fence along the Mex...."

"Romney will build a fence along Michigan's northern border."

"Canada?"

"Wisconsin. Keep them cheeseheads outa the U.P.; bunch of Hillary liberals not supporting the troops or even going forward..." And before elaborating on the Border Security issue, Wawson gave us a taste of Romney's new campaign slogan: "A New Pessimism." And seeing my no-reaction, Wawson quoted from Romney's victory speech: "Tonight is a victory...over Washington-style pessimism."* Wawson grinned, "Good, huh? Everyone is sick to death of Washington-style this and Washington-style that...including pessimism. Romney knows the voters want change..."

"And hope..."

"And hope...but change more than hope," Wawson said, "And he's the only hope we have for change to a 'New Pessimism' in America...going forward. Always going forward."

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Meanwhile, The Clintons, LLC (TM) easily won Michigan's Democratic primary with a new strategy of only running in states where no other candidates are on the ballot. When asked at the Democrat's Texas Hold 'em Debate last night in the Evel Knievel Room at Little Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, to comment on The Clintons' Michigan surge, Senator Obamalamadama said nothing but gave a street-wise digital gesture indicating disgust.

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When asked how he might do in the upcoming make-or-break-firewall-metaphor-challenged South Carolina Primary, Senator Johnny Edwards, esq., (D-NC) threatened legal action against anyone who voted against him.

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*Taken from Romney's real victory speech...leaving out the words we thought were boring and didn't capture our interpretation of events.

dateline: Sumter, South Carolina, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©, all rights refuted.

Romney Correction

We Goofed

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In yesterday's BPNN Update, our field reporter, Artie Azzetti, referred to the former governor of some northeastern, liberal state--where gay abortions are required when purchasing a handgun--as Milton Willard Romney, aka "Mittens." He erred and, if he could be contacted, Azzetti would no doubt be concerned, as we are, that his mistake had been discovered. Milton Willard was actually the name of a TV cartoon dinosaur, voiced by Sandy Becker, on WPIX in New York City in the late 1950s. Governor Romney's real name is Willard Milton, and apparently went by the nickname, Willy, as in this kid gives us the willies. For that reason, and with an eye toward a possible presidential run in 2008, Willy, in 1959, had his nickname legally changed to Mitt, named for the family dog, which unfortunately disappeared on a summer vacation road trip and therefore, was unavailable for comment. This was almost confirmed when our research staff attempted to contact Wilton Millard's son, Zip, at Romney's New Hampshire campaign headquarters on the shores of Lake Sunapee near Keene. However, after winning yet another "silver medal" in yesterday's primary, the entire Romney staff decamped before we could get a comment. The Romneys were reportedly headed to Wyoming where Mitt, the former governor of that state where everyone is named Kennedy, could savor his one "gold medal" win.

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The entire staff of the Blog Party News Network and its IHOP affiliate, the International House Of Paranoia, sincerely regret any discomfort or inconvenience this error may have caused us.

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Meanwhile, in a curious upset, former Governor Mike Huckleberry (R-ARmageddon) turned in a surprisingly weak third-place finish behind Romney and Senator John McCain (R-AZ). Initially, BPNN exit polls suggested that New Hampshire voters--unlike Iowans--couldn't bring themselves to vote for a Hanna-Barbera character in an election where characters count. But, then, it was reported that just minutes before the polls opened 86% of Huckleberry supporters had actually been swept heavenward in an ill-timed Republican Rapture that pushed McCain over the finish line ahead of God's chosen one. God was reportedly mulling his/her options.

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On the Democrat field, The Clintons (TM) scored an even curiouser upset against Senator Obamalamadama, winning that primary by enough margin to ensure gas money toward next week's Michigan primary. At dawn today, a crocodile-teary Hillary could be seen at the wheel of the Clintons' Count Your Change campaign bus leaving the granite-willed state.

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***

dateline: Lindys Diner, Keene, NH, Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©, all rights perceived.

Iowa Caucus Wrap-up

Iowa--A Look Back .

Former whatever he was, Milton Willard Romney (R-MA, MI, UT), aka Mitt--short for Mittens--finally took off the gloves as he boarded his Gulfstream IV family-jet at Des Moines Interdenominational Airport (KDSM) and headed for New Hampshire, where polls indicated he'd find a primary election. Stunned by his recent second-place, "silver medal," finish to Reverend/Governor Mike Huckleberry (R-AR), Romney declared, "We are doing God's work now," and while flashing a Nixonesque double V-for-Validation salute in the airplane's doorway, added, "in my opinion, by keeping al Qaeda and Hezbollah from establishing a safe haven."* Unable to hear his entire statement due to the noise level inside the airport bar where my press corps two-for-one vouchers were about to expire, we can only assume that the safe haven Romney referred to was Iowa, a state that had just shown Mitt that silver medals only count in the Olympics. But before I could ferret out any more facts from CNN the bartender switched off the TV set and said we had pay up or leave. The Iowa Caucus was over and the media's credit no longer any good..

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In fairness, it should be noted that since then, neither al Qaeda nor Hezbollah--neither of which had candidates polling more than 2% in Iowa, slightly ahead of Rudy Giuliani (R-FL) and Ron Paul (R-Mars)--have shown themselves in the Hawkeye state, and Iowans, once again, feel safe to venture onto the streets, where, unfortunately, many have been run down by truckloads of ethanol promises heading out of town. Still, this reporter must admit that had Operation Enduring Primary not included Iowa, one can only guess what might have been. For that conjecture, we need only look toward New Hampshire, another state most Americans couldn't find on an IHOP map and one that Michael Bloomberg could purchase with his lunch money. And yet, New Hampshire--like Iowa--is tasked with fine-tuning the candidates until one is finally deemed The Least Loser. (TM) **

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Today, as memories of Iowa fade like Hillary's press briefing tears, and Granite staters head to their polls despite 50-degree weather, Iowans can only feel a misty sense of loss, knowing that they're not to be pandered to for another four years, although, the John Edwards' campaign has already replaced its Edwards '08 billboards that appear like so many Burma Shave signs along Interstate 80, with Edwards '12...'16...'20....

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* actual quote: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/01/06/romney-i-want-bin-laden-_n_80072.html

** FoxTV, premiers January 20, 2009 8 EST/7CST

dateline: Last exit along I-80 in eastern Iowa, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©, all rights conveniently shifted left as the campaigns go forward in search of spare change.

Markets Crash As Huckabee Blitzes Iowa

Chaos in the IHOP *

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Not since the burning of Atlanta or the fall of Miss Saigon have fictionalized images so dramatically captured a made-for-TV political crisis. With Huckleberry supporters whooping it up until nearly 11 PM CST last night, Des Moines residents found no rest after months of relentless siege by political warlords and their armies of inhuman robo-dialers.

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Just before dawn the voters had had enough, though, and the last of the Hillary campaign staff had to be airlifted off the Embassy Suites rooftop by helicopter. Aides reportedly tried to rally campaign volunteers--desperate for change--who tried to climb aboard and were last seen clinging to the copter's skids as it disappeared toward New Hampshire and an uncertain future. By first light, the Huckleberry troops controlled the city--smiling, helping old ladies across streets and brandishing their bass guitars and bibles.

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Apparently, in reaction to this stunning political upset, stock markets around the world performed a collective plotz. Japan's markets sank over 4%, while the Dow Jones shed over 200 points. "It's a scary number," Joe Balestrino, senior portfolio manager at Federated Investors, said in response to an unrelated issue, but we liked the quote so much we've used it here without relevance, permission or footnote. "No question about it," Joe added, again, on that other issue. "No matter how good you wanted to feel...(and he added more facts we didn't need)...there is far less conviction than even two or three days ago."

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Conviction, indeed. And where does that leave Iowa? Alone, between two very cold rivers, I'll tell ya. Abandoned like last night's prom date, without a friend as these candidates leave for other states; there to make promises, eat more things on a stick and pretend as though they--the candidates--actually want to attend your state fair or sit in your cafes and drink your weak coffee. Well, wake up, America. It happened in Iowa and can happen to you.

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Democracy--It's not just for Iraq. And Caucus. It's not just a guttural word anymore; it's the name of a new movie by Michael Moore about how Iowa did its part to keep this country entertained until the writers strike ended.

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* IHOP: Iowa House Of Politics

dateline Des Moines, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©, all rights rehashed.

Iowa Caucus Boffo Biz in Better Bistros

Wallace and Davis To Team? They'll Have Competition...

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Two unknowns swept the Iowa Caucus (TM) last night, stunning old-guard party stalwarts on both sides of the now crumbling aisle while potentially changing the face of American politics. Senator Hillary Rodham (D-NY) and former Governor Jeb Bush (R-FL), seemed to come out of nowhere to win Hawkeye hearts and minds. Little is known of these two centrist, erudite politicians who have smashed the mold of what’s expected in Beltway politics. (Not that we understand any of those metaphors, but are required by a vague code of journalistic ethics to use them while "going forward.")
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In his concession speech, Mitt Romney (R-MA) said: “In the next ten years, we'll see more progress, more change than the world has seen in the last ten centuries,”* thus admitting that his campaign theme, “Return With Me To the Middle Ages!” was ill advised. He’s reported to have fired all five sons from his campaign payroll, telling them to “Go get real jobs, ya bums.” Three have reportedly joined the Army, now that they’re no longer encumbered by a promise to help elect their Daddy to the White House.
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Rudy Giuliani, reached at the North Miami AARP Supper Club during the Early Bird Surge, told reporters: “9-11…9-11…terror….9-11…no cole slaw, just a pickle, dear….9-11….”
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Fred Thompson (R-NBC), who scored a respectable 14% in the caucus said he’d release a victory statement as soon as the writers strike ended and he was given his lines.
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Dennis Kuspinach (D-OH!) watched the Caucus results on his iPhone in the IHOP** coffee shop in Dayton, where he and Ralph Nader plotted an alliance for 2012. They reportedly left no tip.

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* true quote

** International House Of Pathos, not affiliated with Iowa House Of Politics or the International House Of Pancakes.
dateline: Bush 08 HQ, West Des Moines, Iowa, Artie Azzetti, Blog Party News Network (BPNN) © all rights reserved and defended in order to maintain a well regulated militia.

Iowa Caucus Home Stretch

Candidates Grovel Toward the Finish Line
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Sinking dramatically in the most recent Des Moines Register-Picayune poll of Iowans most likely to lie to pollsters who keep annoying them with dumb questions, Johnny Edwards (D N or SC) responded in Dylanesque verse:

"I don’t need a poll

To tell me that--

We’re moving,”* he sang while plucking on a folk guitar at the Java Jurors coffee house off Court Avenue in downtown Des Moines on this final full day of pandering and rationalizing before the Iowa Caucus.

"And I don't need a weatherman

To tell which way the wind blows," Edwards continued into the second verse before the crowd dispersed as word spread that candidate Obamalamadama (D-CHI) was playing down the street at the Iowa House Of Politics (IHOP). .

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Throughout the Hawkeye state desperate presidential hopefuls attended to last-minute campaigning. Mitt The Kid Romney was spotted shoveling snow with his five sons at the Odd Fellows Hall in Garden Grove, Iowa. John McCain took a turn as a bouncer at Big Earl's Club in Des Moines tossing out underage voters by the coattails, sending each one into the night with a "Thanks, ya little twerp."

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In Eastern Iowa, candidate HillyBilly Clintons (D-NY+/-) dressed up as Mother Theresa and walked barefoot through the snow spreading health care insurance pamphlets while supporters in saffron robes chanted, "Time For Change? Spare Change..." and tore down Obamalamadama banners.

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In southern Iowa, former Governor Mike Huckleberry (R?-AR), still smarting from his failed Don't Watch My Video campaign, reverted to his roots and preached before dwindling crowds of mouth-breathing undecided voters before picking up his bass guitar and, despite fingers numbed by the cold, launched into a Christian version of Free Bird.

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Delaware's, Joe Bidentime addressed a packed room at the Indianola Day Care Center where many in the crowd, made up largely of his own family, grew cranky having listened well beyond their normal nap time. Senator Chris Dodd (D-CT), meanwhile, tended bar a block away at Signatures Grill on the Indianola square. A slow night, as it turned out, his tip jar netted $4.50 according to a FEC filing..Dodd has reportedly requested federal matching funds.

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And in North Dakota, candidate Dennis Kuspinach (D-OH!) briefly addressed a polite crowd at the Fargo Bowl 'n Wash before a campaign aide checked the rental car GPS and informed the candidate that they'd accidentally left Iowa several days before.

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This just in: Michael Bloomberg's personal jet has been spotted at the Des Moines International Airport (where there are no international flights). Unconfirmed reports of the NY City mayor arriving with bags of billion-dollar bills, ready to buy the Caucus state, are just that--unconfirmed--but, even at this late date, may portend a major shift in the Iowa Caucus, especially if we continue to use words such as "portend."

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*real quote

dateline: Indianola, Iowa, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©, all rights reserved before the votes are counted.

Huckleberry Turns The Other Cheek in Iowa

Christian Candidate's Bona Fides Still Largely Intact

“It’s never too late to do the right thing,”* front-runner Mike Huckleberry (C-AR), Christian candidate for president said in New Year's Eve press briefing just days before Iowans caucus in a collective ritual that determines what candidates the rest of the country will receive. Mr. Huckleberry was referring to his decision to not air by airing an ad attacking his attacker, Mitt "The Kid" Romney. "See?" Huckleberry shouted from the pulpit before a press corps hardened by years of Iowa campaigning. "You asked for it!"

"No we didn't," Davis Yawpsun, Politics-as-Entertainment-Editor for the Des Moines Register - Picayune, noted from the open bar.

Still, Huckleberry pressed on by pressing the press into watching the controversial ad he'd just banned. In it, a small female child picks daisies in an undisclosed Iowa ethanol field. Overhead, angels fly unaware of the looming Romney doom. Suddenly, as the child sings the glories of Huckleberry in Biblical verse, with a faint image of the candidate dressed in a white robe and playing a mean Martin bass guitar in the background, Romney--portrayed as a dark angel of death in a Boston Red Sox jacket--unleashes a mushroom cloud of hellfire, tax increases, gun control, and state-sponsored illegal gay space aliens forcing abortions upon the Iowa electorate.

As the screen fades to black, Governor Huckleberry's voice, amid a choir of cherubim, is heard to say, "I'm Mike Huckleberry, and I approved this message...then...but now I don't, so please don't watch it, again and again, and please don't write any front page stories about it or put it on your blogs or, heavens forsake my campaign--on YouTube!"

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Well, editorially speaking, the Blog Party News Network (BPNN) is not beholden to any one candidate--except to those who donate the most to our travel funds--and therefore, although no one on our staff has actually seen the ad, BPNN refuses to fall for the governor's blatant attempt to get this respected media vehicle to run one word about the Mike Huckleberry banned ad, which can be viewed on our website and forwarded to your friends so that they, too, won't see it. Again, the banned ad is not to be viewed at http://www.wehearthuckleberry.org/ and on the BPNN website.

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*actual quote

dateline Des Moines, Iowa, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, BPNN ©, all rights reserved for revision at a later date.