Bully!
Trailing Hilly/Billy and Obamalamadama in Iowa polls, former North Carolina Senator/Attorney and Born Again Po' Boy, Johnny Edwards swapped his workingman overalls for a fresh San Juan Hill look as he waved his stump sword at the unseen enemies of 21st Century Iowans: Robber Barons.
“I’ve been fighting these people all my entire life,”* Po' Boy Attorney Edwards declared in a wide gap-toothed grin beneath his pith helmet. A chorus of Iowa townsfolk backed up his every stanza:
“I fought them in the courtroom..."*
Chorus: (soft) Fought-fought-fought...
"And I’ve beat them and beat them."*
Chorus: (louder) Beat-beat-beat...
"We’ve got to stop being mealy-mouthed and careful."* And Edwards thrust a finger skyward while tucking his other hand inside his safari jacket.
Chorus: Got to Stop! Right Here! Because we've got Trouble...
Yes, this reporter noted, we've got trouble.
"We’ve got to get rid of the robber barons. We need to have some Guts.”*
That's Guts with a capitol G that rhymes with T and stands for whatever it takes to get noticed in the Hawkeye Caucus Circus.
And the townsfolk sang and danced around their candidate before he continued with arms akimbo and fire flashing from behind his steely pince-nez:
“It makes me angry,"* Edwards declared.
"I feeeel out-rage."*
Chorus: Out-rage!
"I won’t let them get away with it.” *
Underwhelmed, the Iowa townsfolk lifted Captain Edwards high above their shoulders and swept him--if not into the Oval Office--at least on the path to victory as they all sang "Hooray For Captain Edwards" to the tune of Hooray For Captain Spaulding.
***
dateline River City, Iowa. Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the lam, The Blog Party News, all rights rehearsed.
* True quotes, emphasis added
Trailing Hilly/Billy and Obamalamadama in Iowa polls, former North Carolina Senator/Attorney and Born Again Po' Boy, Johnny Edwards swapped his workingman overalls for a fresh San Juan Hill look as he waved his stump sword at the unseen enemies of 21st Century Iowans: Robber Barons.
“I’ve been fighting these people all my entire life,”* Po' Boy Attorney Edwards declared in a wide gap-toothed grin beneath his pith helmet. A chorus of Iowa townsfolk backed up his every stanza:
“I fought them in the courtroom..."*
Chorus: (soft) Fought-fought-fought...
"And I’ve beat them and beat them."*
Chorus: (louder) Beat-beat-beat...
"We’ve got to stop being mealy-mouthed and careful."* And Edwards thrust a finger skyward while tucking his other hand inside his safari jacket.
Chorus: Got to Stop! Right Here! Because we've got Trouble...
Yes, this reporter noted, we've got trouble.
"We’ve got to get rid of the robber barons. We need to have some Guts.”*
That's Guts with a capitol G that rhymes with T and stands for whatever it takes to get noticed in the Hawkeye Caucus Circus.
And the townsfolk sang and danced around their candidate before he continued with arms akimbo and fire flashing from behind his steely pince-nez:
“It makes me angry,"* Edwards declared.
"I feeeel out-rage."*
Chorus: Out-rage!
"I won’t let them get away with it.” *
Underwhelmed, the Iowa townsfolk lifted Captain Edwards high above their shoulders and swept him--if not into the Oval Office--at least on the path to victory as they all sang "Hooray For Captain Edwards" to the tune of Hooray For Captain Spaulding.
***
dateline River City, Iowa. Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the lam, The Blog Party News, all rights rehearsed.
* True quotes, emphasis added
No comments:
Post a Comment