Pakistan Now Where Mexico Once Was
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As the Mike Huckleberry campaign rethinks its decision to hire Lauren Caitlin Upton, the renowned Miss South Carolina, as a speechwriter to replace striking writers, the candidate--stumping in Pella, Iowa--stumbled through a pop quiz on his least favorite subject: Geography.
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Mrs. Vernon Schaaksbref of Vinton, Iowa asked the former Arkansas governor, "Governor, given the recent tragic events in Pakistan, vis-a-vis Bhutto's assassination, or as the Musharraf government now considers it, a suicide--how would a Huckleberry administration react?"
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The Southern Baptist, gun-waving, weight-losing, marathon-running, constantly-evolving, Republican(ish) front-runner squirmed uncomfortably while eyeing the plate of glazed Dutch Letters within reach before answering, "I'm glad you asked that question, and personally I believe it's a question that needs to be asked and one that, such as, as far as I can tell, no one, such as, has asked to this point. And to that point, such as," the sweating candidate continued to layout his geopolitical worldview in Miss South Carolina wing-it fashion, "we have more Pakistani illegals coming across our border than all other nationalities, except those immediately south of the border.”* He pointed vaguely at Missouri and then seemed to recover and shot back at the inquisitor: "Can we just focus on my weight lose? Does everything in politics nowadays have to be about world events?"
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*That bit is a real quote.
dateline: Pellawindows, Iowa, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©, all rights researched, refined and redefined for easier consumption.
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