Huckleberry Turns The Other Cheek in Iowa

Christian Candidate's Bona Fides Still Largely Intact

“It’s never too late to do the right thing,”* front-runner Mike Huckleberry (C-AR), Christian candidate for president said in New Year's Eve press briefing just days before Iowans caucus in a collective ritual that determines what candidates the rest of the country will receive. Mr. Huckleberry was referring to his decision to not air by airing an ad attacking his attacker, Mitt "The Kid" Romney. "See?" Huckleberry shouted from the pulpit before a press corps hardened by years of Iowa campaigning. "You asked for it!"

"No we didn't," Davis Yawpsun, Politics-as-Entertainment-Editor for the Des Moines Register - Picayune, noted from the open bar.

Still, Huckleberry pressed on by pressing the press into watching the controversial ad he'd just banned. In it, a small female child picks daisies in an undisclosed Iowa ethanol field. Overhead, angels fly unaware of the looming Romney doom. Suddenly, as the child sings the glories of Huckleberry in Biblical verse, with a faint image of the candidate dressed in a white robe and playing a mean Martin bass guitar in the background, Romney--portrayed as a dark angel of death in a Boston Red Sox jacket--unleashes a mushroom cloud of hellfire, tax increases, gun control, and state-sponsored illegal gay space aliens forcing abortions upon the Iowa electorate.

As the screen fades to black, Governor Huckleberry's voice, amid a choir of cherubim, is heard to say, "I'm Mike Huckleberry, and I approved this message...then...but now I don't, so please don't watch it, again and again, and please don't write any front page stories about it or put it on your blogs or, heavens forsake my campaign--on YouTube!"

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Well, editorially speaking, the Blog Party News Network (BPNN) is not beholden to any one candidate--except to those who donate the most to our travel funds--and therefore, although no one on our staff has actually seen the ad, BPNN refuses to fall for the governor's blatant attempt to get this respected media vehicle to run one word about the Mike Huckleberry banned ad, which can be viewed on our website and forwarded to your friends so that they, too, won't see it. Again, the banned ad is not to be viewed at http://www.wehearthuckleberry.org/ and on the BPNN website.

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*actual quote

dateline Des Moines, Iowa, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, BPNN ©, all rights reserved for revision at a later date.