Republican TeleTubbies Spar in NH

TeleTuby Rudy, Whups on Mickey and Mitt
Dateline: Goofstown, NH

“It’s a typical Washington mess,” TT welter-weight, Rudy 'The G-Man' Giuliani in green trunks and red tie, called. Wide-eyed, he shook his taped fist at TT heavy-weight opponent, Senator Mickey McCain, in red trunks and blue tie, during the pre-fight weigh-in for the Republican's Rumble Into the Bungle presidential match-up held Tuesday evening at St. Elmo's College in Goofstown, New Hampshire.
“Everybody compromises," Rudy taunted, "four or five com-pro-mises." At this point it appeared Rudy was trying to rhyme: "And the com-pro-mises leave you with the following conclusion...." Rudy windmilled his arm as though readying a cartoon punch at Mickey, who stood quietly aside, grinning, yet coiled as Rudy danced about the room taunting:
"The litmus test you should have...
"For legislation is...
"Is it going to make things better?"
Rudy leaned into Mickey, both candidates restrained, now, by nervous handlers, aware that a third contender, TT lightweight Mitt 'The Kid' Romney had entered the room wearing boxer shorts and black tie.
Rudy sensing the upstart's appearance, turned on Mitt to finish his poetic diatribe:
"And when you look at these com-pro-mises..."
Mitt looked where Rudy pointed.
"It is quite possible...
It will make things worse.” *
Rudy then performed his patented double-shuffle dope-a-vote for the cameras and glared at Mickey and Mitt while singing: "You can't get me, I'm Ru-dy Gui-li!"

Later, when the actual bout began, all three contenders gut-punched themselves silly before a less-than-stunned audience of St. Elmo summer session students attending the event for Poli-Sci credit.

*Actual quote. Full text of the "debate" can be read at NY Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/06/us/politics/06debate.html

***