Friday, June 29, 2007

Bloomberg Buys Iowa?: Correction


Corrections, Clarifications and Obfuscations:

"Phew, did we screw that one up, or what?" Blog Party News editor-on-the-lam, Artie Azzetti, said in a telephone interview with the Bloomberg News Cayman off-shore entertainment reporter, Kate Straus. Mr Azzetti, who sounded drunk at the time but attributed his political slurs to "iPhone lag" and not abuse of his reporter's expense account, went on to say that, upon further investigation--meaning he asked someone--it turns out that NYC Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg has not actually purchased Iowa, as first reported in the June 20, 2007 Blog Party News, but, instead, has merely leased the state "with an option to buy," once the whole Hilly/Rudy thing burns itself out at the upcoming Iowa State Fair where several of the TeleTubby (TM) Candidates are scheduled to compete for Iowa voter support in the annual Cow Chip Pitching Debate.

Azzetti also noted that former president, Bill Clinton, who is scheduled to crown this year's Pork Queen (TM), will warm up the crowd for Hilly by besting the fair's record in the Things-On-A-Stick Eating Contest on debate day. Iowa Public TV is expected to cover the event, although it's unknown at this time if IPTV's former Side Roads host will, again, be arrested for shameless on-camera mugging without a script. Sgt. Floyd Castle, of the Iowa State Fair Police Department, was not contacted for comment, but in the past has shown a zero-tolerance for such shenanigans.

Dateline: Grand Cayman Hotel, Suite 407b, knock first.

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