IHOP To Purchase McCain Campaign?

Iowa House Of Politics Said To Offer 4% Premium, Plus 15% Tip

Struggling to meet campaign payroll and remain the designated maverick Turk Republican front runner, Senator 'Mickey' McCain of Arizona faced the inevitable and is reported to have "taken a lunch" with representatives of the influential political latte chain, Iowa House Of Politics (TM) .

At the West Des Moines Denny's, after Waldorf salads and Pattymelts, it can only be imagined that McCain was in no position to "pick up the check" and had to beg for IHOP to intercede.

Transcripts from the meeting, secured by Blog Party News insiders and not verified for fear of what the truth might do to an otherwise good story, paint a picture of candidate with product to move but in need of cash. IHOP founder and patriarch, Vito "Don" Carlson, is reported to have listened politely, offered to refill McCain's water glass and then after brushing a few croutons from the begging candidate's knee whispered, "I'm afraid my answer is no." Don Carlson went on to explain that he had no problem with McCain's business, "How a man makes a living is not up to me." But, Don Carlson explained, "What you do (politics) is a little..." He wanted to say "dangerous" but the sundaes had arrived and Vito Carlson signaled that the meeting was over. The McCain campaign would have to find a way to survive without IHOP's support.

It was noted that Vito Carlson's eldest son, Sonny, seemed to be hot for the deal, but was rudely shushed by his father.

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The Iowa House Of Politics is a political parody franchise licensed by the Iowa House Of Parody and not associated with the other IHOP, International House Of Pancakes, which is a really swell restaurant chain.

Dateline, Des Moines, Iowa, Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, Blog Party News.