Rudy Defeats Huckabee

Florida Race Fields The Winnows.

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Floridians forced an insight into Rudy The G-Man Giuliani's constantly-evolving campaign strategy by handing him a resounding victory over fellow GOP front-runner, the non-evolving Reverend/Governor Mike Huckleberry, in a race that has been likened--by those of us who didn't witness it--to Dewey v. Truman or Rocky v. Apollo Creed. Bloodied, but unevolved, Huckleberry, with his wife, Adrian, at his side, conceded to the former NYC mayor-turned-superhero by saying that he didn't want a rematch. Rudy graciously accepted Huckleberry's surrender and, then, stunned the Sunshine State voters, who'd braved 80-degree temperatures, by announcing that he'd quit the race and return to fighting international terrorism. In a flash, Rudy swirled his cape across his shoulders and leaped onto the lecture circuit at $100,000 a show. But before leaving the Floridians below to shuffle off to early-bird specials where they'd complain about the air-conditioning, he pulled yet another stunner and charged his supporters to rally behind anyone but Romney. And with that, Rudy was gone from the '08 race.

While Republicans hogged most of the headlines yesterday, Democratic candidate, The Clintons, LLC (TM), racked up another upset victory over front-runner, Barrage Obama, by continuing their strategy to campaign only in states that don't count. Hillary wasn't available for comment as she campaigned for her husband along the side roads of American Samoa. Bill, aware that his VP was out of sight, stumped in a Fort Lauderdale hot tub with Michigan State coeds auditioning for the new political reality Fox/TV series, Spring Break With The Candidates!.

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dateline: Boca Subprimo, Fl., Artie Azzetti, editor-on-the-lam, Blog Party News Network (BPNN) ©, all rights half-price before 6 PM.